One Year Ago Today

On December 20, 2010, we met Cosi for the first time!

Our precious little girl strolled into the meeting room like she owned the place. We quickly discovered her love for gloves and coats, as she snagged ours. We followed her around the room and asked ourselves Is this our daughter, the little girl that we had prayed for years to bring home? What we saw was a vivacious girl who wanted to play with anyone and everyone. Why are you all sitting there talking? She seemed to be thinking, We could be running around this room, exploring every corner of it!
After we chased her around for about 15 minutes (or, more accurately, Rob chased her around and a very pregnant April slowly followed), the orphanage director asked us, "Well? What do you think? Are you going to adopt her?" Rob immediately said "OK!" Then he looked at April to make sure he hadn't made such a big decision unilaterally. April said, "Yeah!"
Immediately after that, we were shuffled over to another room, where a Christmas performance was about to begin (and it is possible they were delaying the start of it until we arrived, since the orphanage director was with us). Cosi happily sat on April's lap, twice grabbing the hair bands from the hair of the girl sitting in front of her (a classic Cosi move that still comes out every now & then...). As St. Nicholas arrived to talk to the gathered children, we couldn't help but think that all three of us had already gotten the best Christmas gift possible that year. It would take another few weeks of paperwork, court dates, calls to East Asia's Interpol Office, a brawl in the Ukrainian Parliament, and a lot of other hurdles before Cosi was officially our daughter, but December 20th is the day we became a family in our hearts.

And - here she is now, her life has changed a lot in the past year and so has ours, for the better :)

Things Strangers Give Our Kids

One of the things we love about our life here is that strangers often give things to our kids. Now in our home country, that would be cause for concern; but here it's pretty normal. One American friend of ours asked an older East Asian woman why she insisted on giving hard candy to her very young daughter. The East Asian woman explained, "I know you need to take it away from her, but she's so precious and it's all I have to give to her." I think that's so awesome, even if the protective Daddy in me wants to grab some of these things and throw them in a lake before my child gets hurt (as I once witnessed another American friend of mine do). So here is a list of some of the things that strangers have given our children:

Beaded Necklaces- 2 of them, both given to Trey. Cosi claimed them rather quickly
Bags of candy
Hair clips
Genuine rabbit fur hat- "Don't worry, rabbit fur is a less expensive fur"
Gloves - Security guards at the airport give her rubber gloves and she likes to chew on them (which isn't very safe).
Spicy Pork Jerky- I just hope they didn't see Cosi spit it out after one taste.
Oranges- Probably Cosi's favorite gift
Unidentifiable Food Items- Which Cosi sometimes eats anyway
Scarf- Cosi is actually building up a nice scarf collection
Umbrella- I try not to take that as a judgment on my preparedness as a parent
Expensive items from the store shelf- to keep them from crying in the store, but also to try to get us to buy them
Their children’s toys- Generous parents, angry kids.
Their phones and cameras- Cosi is bold in asking for these, and most people are surprisingly generous in letting her borrow them.
Money (from a beggar!)- Cosi thought he was offering to let he take from his hat, he said keep it, we didn't let her. I'm pretty sure he was a swindler, though.
Lotion- a few kind women in the airport let Cosi go through their purses and use whatever she pulled out, this made our airport experience much more enjoyable...
Seaweed- In line at the grocery store, Cosi was happy to take it, less than happy to eat it.
Doughnut- Someone on the metro let her pick one out of a dozen. Mommy steered her toward a chocolate one.
Dark Chocolate- A very generous man on the train gave Cosi a whole box of dark chocolate, most of which ended up with Mommy and Daddy :)
Safety Pins- One each for Cosi and Trey, given to them by the fitting room attendant while April was trying on clothes. I had to discretely swipe them back and hide them in my pockets. Trey really wanted to chew on them and Cosi had recently learned the words "stab!" and "poke!"

So I still don't know whether we're expected to politely refuse or return things, or whether they are really meant as gifts. We try to refuse, but once you offer a kid something, it's hard for the parent to say no. In the meantime, we'll enjoy sharing the candy and be on the lookout for safety pins.

Bible Stories with Cosi

"Grabbing Coins!"

That's how Cosi requests that we (again) tell her the story of the Good Samaritan. I really wish we could have filmed the first time she heard this story. After our success with the story of the Ten Shushus with Boo-boos, April suggested I tell another boo-boo story. About halfway through the parable of the Good Samaritan, Cosi started getting tears in her eyes. She was so concerned for this poor man that was bleeding and alone. She started asking if she could help. Then she started saying all the things she could do for him- rub his belly, feed him prunes (Trey was eating prunes at the time), rub his hair, give him chocolate, sing to him- basically anything that communicates love to Cosi. And so as she teared up, so did her mommy and daddy, who had never seen this compassionate side of her before. We joked that Cosi made the Good Samaritan look like a slacker. (Is that heresy?)

Well, it's been about a month and we tell the story at least 3-4 times a day. Cosi still interjects herself into the story, usually as the Good Samaritan. Sometimes, though, she comes in at the beginning and holds the man's hand while he walks on the road so that he's not alone when he gets attacked. Here's a little video of how the story usually goes, although we had a surprise ending this time- Cosi brought Jesus into the story for the first time!

Muffin Tops

Yes. This is a post about pregnancy weight gain, especially in the belly region. Rob promises to write a few posts soon, just to keep this from becoming a total mommy blog.

Trey is approaching 8 months of age and I still have an extra belly. I think this is referred to as a spare tire. If I were a man, you'd say I have a beer belly. If I were a whale, it would be called blubber. Actually, the best words to describe it would be "muffin top." My old jeans fit, but there's a lot extra hanging out in the front. I had pictures to prove it, but they were all deleted under mysterious circumstances...

In my defense, Trey was a big baby. I mean, look at that stomach! It's hanging out of the bottom of my shirt. I was 8 months pregnant in this picture. People on the street were already telling me that I was having twins. I didn't always correct them.

After having Trey, I wasn't physically able to exercise for a few months. It's okay. I didn't really want to exercise anyway. When Trey was about 3 months old, I asked Rob if he'd watch both kids while I worked out. I was starting to be annoyed by my big belly and I thought I might try to find a gym. He said, "sure, as long as you watch both kids for an equal amount of time and let me read books." I decided that I'd rather be fat.

Fast forward to this past month - I joined a gym! It's located inside an expensive hotel, but the membership fee was only $150 for 6 months. That's $25 a month for the best gym ever. Not bad. Why do I love it you might ask? Well, it's almost always empty, except for the cleaning people that bring me free bottles of water and cold/wet washcloths. They love me. It smells faintly of some sort of aromatherapy oil, instead of sweat like most other gyms. The bathroom has a hot shower, fluffy towels (unlike my hard line-dried towels at home), free soaps & shampoos, and a clean toilet with folded over toilet paper stamped with an "R." I feel like I'm the only person who uses that toilet. I'm not, but I just feel like I am. It's my happy place. The gym, that is.

It has been a month now and despite several members of our family getting sick, I've been able to make it to the gym a couple times every week. Who do I have to thank for this? My husband. It's funny, I never struggle with motivation to get to the gym anymore. I'm always motivated to take a break from the kids and have time to myself :) even if it means I'm running a 5k during that time!

In fact, I'm probably going to run a half marathon on June 2nd. It's in Northern VA - anybody want to join me? I'm waiting until we know our summer plans, but I'm going to sign up soon.

Anyhow, I like to think my belly is getting a bit smaller. I asked Rob and he said it's getting smaller, so it must be true. I mean, what reason would he have to lie? ;)

soapbox?

Take a look at this funny picture and it's caption.

I've seen this many times over the years and chuckled. When I saw it yesterday, I felt sick. Is this really how our society views adoption? Maybe I'm too sensitive? Or - maybe my eyes have been opened and I'm more aware.

The whole assumption behind the joke is that adopted children are not really a part of the family, they are outsiders and always will be.

But, can you imagine if it said, "Dude! I'm JOKING you are NOT black!!!" (Or - I can think of a number of other disturbing words to put in it's place) In the past, people would have laughed. Today, people know better. People know it's offensive.

I grew up 'joking' with my brothers about this very topic, adoption. When my older brother was angry with me, he might have snidely suggested I was adopted. If I misbehaved, my parents might have said, "You must be adopted, because we would never act that way." I, in turn, teased my younger brother and told him that he was adopted. In fact, I think I might have elaborated on the story and told him that he was found in a trashcan. I was a jerk. In each of these instances, the heart behind the joking was never loving. The comments were always born out of frustration and somehow the topic of adoption was brought in.

What would an adopted child think if they saw that picture and read that caption? Would they feel hurt? What message does that picture send to them? I'm worried that it might say, "No, you really ARE adopted, you really should be crying!" I would like to get feedback from other families who have adopted or people who are adopted. What do you think?

I write this post because I want our world to change. Just as many racial jokes are no longer socially acceptable, I hope that the same becomes true for the topic of adoption.

Manipulating Children

My alternate title for this post was "Manipulating Children in Church."

It sounds bad. Maybe it is bad. But, in my quest to force children to like my daughter, I have become wise. (mental note: the word 'wise' sounds better than using any form of the word 'manipulate')

Example: Cosi sat down next to a little boy in kids church. The boy was not happy about it. He wanted some other boy to sit by him and in a snotty voice told us so. Cosi doesn't understand his words, but I'm beginning to think she might understand his tone. Normally, I might respond by gently informing the boy that there's an open seat on his other side or by using my mom voice and telling him that he can't save seats. This time I changed my tactic. I decided to flatter him. It worked.

typical boy: She can't sit there (whine...)
Cosi: Hiiiiii!!!!! (big smile)
me: Oh, what a nice shirt you have on - is that a horse? wow! I like horses.
typical boy: Yes, that is a horse. It's red.
me: A red horse? That's so cool!
Cosi: horse! horse! (squeal)
typical boy: (smiles, thinks he's awesome, forgets about his friend who may or may not be coming)
me: (self-satisfied smirk that might appear to be a friendly smile, but it's not)
Cosi: (jumps up to switch to another seat, totally oblivious to her mothers efforts on her behalf)


Perhaps my next post will be about passing on my issues to my child?

Cry Me a River...

When I was younger, I hardly cried. Maybe I didn't have much to cry about? After I got married, my crying habits changed. I started crying like a baby. Without exception, I cry multiple times a week. This past week, I cried every day and multiple times a day. I cried so much that Rob started ignoring me.

Something about seeing my baby congested and struggling to breathe makes me want to cry. It kind of reminds me of my grandmother when she was dying of emphysema. Not cool.

In a moment of deep introspection, I realized that a lot of my crying comes from life being out of my control. I can't heal my baby. I can't speed up my adoption. I can't make my husband do things my way all the time, though I may try...

And once again, I am confronted with the reality that I don't trust God.

I choose to worry. I live in fear.

But, I have hope that I won't always be this way, and that I will learn to replace fear with faith and worry with trust.

Going to the doctor in Asia...

Sometimes it's worth it to pay a taxi $100 to drive you to the Western Hospital located 2 hours away. Delivering a baby = worth it! That's where Trey was born.

Other times, like when your kid has a cold, it doesn't seem worth it. Instead, you might choose to visit a local clinic. One time we took Rob to a local clinic (after a bagel cutting injury - you might be surprised at how often that happens in the usa) and it was gross, both the clinic and Rob's cut finger. After he paid about one dollar for the doctor to see him, he was taken into an examining room. The last patient had left some blood on the bed and vomit on the floor. I guess they weren't in a hurry to clean up? (side note: there are much nicer hospitals in EA. This was not one of them)

Anyhow, I wasn't going to take my sick baby to a clinic like that. I took him to a Singaporean clinic. Singaporeans are quite Western, so I felt comfortable with the doctor. And - Trey just had a bad cold, so it's not like he needed to be airlifted back to the US.

I was happy with the clinic, but I had some funny moments.

When they wanted to know my 7 month old boy's weight, the nurse asked me to let him stand up on the scale. At first I doubted my East Asian language ability, so I had her repeat her request. Then I explained that he's a baby and he can't stand up yet. I guess they don't have scales for babies? I gave her an estimate of his weight, problem solved.

The doctor saw us immediately, no waiting. Is it good that they weren't busy? I don't know, but I like not having to wait. We went straight into his office. The doctor spoke perfect English, better than my English even (or at least it sounded that way because he had a cool British accent). He listened to Trey's chest and agreed that Trey had/has a respiratory infection. Since Trey's breathing was so labored, he recommended a nebulizer treatment to open up his airways for a bit.

That's how we ended up in the storage room with no heat. It said "procedure room" on the door, but it seemed more like a storage room. It seemed even more like a storage room when 20 minutes into the treatment, a nurse brought a few boxes into the room to...umm... store. She seemed surprised to see us, which only adds to my theory...

The nebulizer treatment wasn't so bad if you like holding down your struggling infant son and listening to his pathetic whimpers for help. I don't like doing that, so I thought it was awful. I kept alternating between praying for him to rest and get well and praying for him to have the memory of a goldfish ( i.e. short). Thankfully, Trey fell asleep after 10 minutes of struggle. Of course, he has a battle scar to remind me of my betrayal. Somehow we scratched his cheek? I was so thankful after the treatment was finished, glad to have it behind us. Then, they told me we needed to do it again. Darn.

I was thankful for a cold room. I might have been sweating a bit. I'm a nervous sweat-er. Trey had a blanket to keep him warm on one side and my body heat on the other side. He was okay. The metal chair was a bit uncomfortable, but I don't think any chair would have felt great while holding a baby in those circumstances.

The second treatment woke him up, but it seemed to go faster. When I noticed the medicine was gone, I turned off the machine. I waited 20 min in the cold room while Trey slept. After he woke up, we wandered out. The nurses seemed surprised to see me (not sure if they had forgotten me or thought I was rude for leaving the room). I smiled and jiggled the boy in a classic "just walking the baby around to keep him happy" gesture.

After I emerged from the room, the nurses must have felt the need to do something with us. One nurse brought in a tool that gets your heart rate via your finger, except it was built for an adult sized finger and a finger that wouldn't wiggle constantly. Trey's a big boy, but his finger is still itty-bitty and it moves a lot. She tried 5 times to get his heart rate before I finally intervened. Kudos to me for being patient! I gracefully told her (in no uncertain terms) that she should give up on getting his heart rate that way, it was never going to work. I guess she decided that she didn't need his heart rate after all.

We're going back again today. We'll do another neb treatment. It seemed to help him relax and breathe a little easier. It's so sad to see our little guy sick. Baby laryngitis & wheezing is beyond pathetic. But, it does make me thankful for his generally good health. However - I've gone from very little sleep to very very little sleep. Rob and I are taking turns holding Trey upright while he sleeps. I'm really thankful not to be a single parent right now. Days & nights like this make me really respect single parents that strive to care for children by themselves.

When Cosi gives mommy a flower...

it looks like this :)

Ten Shu-shus with Boo-Boos

"I have come to the conviction that if you cannot translate your thoughts into uneducated language, then your thoughts were confused."
-C.S. Lewis

Here is the story of Jesus and the ten lepers- the version we tell Cosi, who is somewhat obsessed with blood and injuries. We're trying to tell Bible stories using words she's familiar with and in concepts that are accessible to her:

There were 10 shu-shus ("shu-shu," remember, is 'uncle', how East Asian kids address men) with boo-boos. They had boo-boos all over their bodies, very bad boo-boos, maybe some of them were bleeding. They were very sad. They came to Jesus and said "Jesus, please help!" And Jesus said "Sure!" So he made their boo-boos all better and they were happy. But one shu-shu came back to Jesus and said, "Thank you, Jesus." He had a thankful, happy heart.

Our new life with kids, still trying to figure things out...

When it comes to meeting people for the first time, Cosi is amazing! As we walk around on campus, in our neighborhood, or anywhere, Cosi takes every opportunity to yell "hi shushu, hi ai-yi" at every passing person. She makes it easy for us to talk to them. She makes it easy for them to stop and talk to us. She welcomes them in and makes things less awkward, because we're all looking at and commenting on this silly little girl. She makes us all smile. It's a good start to meeting people.

Here's a picture of her after she weaseled her way onto someone's electric bike. She liked it, but she was well aware that she wasn't in the drivers seat. After this picture was taken, she quickly remedied that situation by climbing up on the forbidden seat. I was putting away the camera, so I didn't immediately respond to the potential danger. Cosi took advantage of my lack of response. With the speed of a thousand cheetahs (or one toddler), she reached up and grabbed that bike handle to rev the engine. Since the bike was on, it sped forward and my friend was forced to run beside Cosi until she regained control of the bike. Bless that friend for not letting go!

The second time we meet with people is not usually so easy. We're still trying to figure out what works best, but here's a real life example. Cosi demands 100% attention. She will go to great lengths to get that attention - some cute and some not so cute. As Cosi & I were meeting with these girls, Cosi refused to let me talk with them. She wanted every word out of my mouth to be directed at her. She grabbed my face, so I could only look at her. When I calmly told her that she needed to wait, she full on slapped me in the face. As I began to discipline her by forcing her to sit on a step for a minute, things went even more down hill with a good old fashioned tantrum.

After bringing her back over to play again, Cosi decided she wanted to play in the dirt/pavement pebbles. She loves playing with dirty stuff like that and I'm always torn about letting her. It's culturally unacceptable and it's just plain gross, but I guess urine covered rocks have never killed anyone?? Or - have they? I'm not sure.

Anyhow, this tired mother decided to let her play. I majorly regretted it.

Here's a picture of my two new friends with Cosi. They were so sweet as they watched her play. It made me want to take a picture and this is that picture.

What you don't see is what happened immediately after this picture was taken. Cosi turned around, laughed mightily, and threw a big handful of little pee pee rocks straight into my face & mouth. I guess my mouth was open? I should work on breathing through my nose. Unlucky me.

I paused. I probably took a deep breath as I tried to regain control of the situation. I spit the filth out of my mouth and I chose to lovingly discipline my daughter, yet again.

I'm always curious about what my East Asian friends think of how we parent our kids. I'm always aware of them watching me, which is good in that it encourages me to remain calm and patient. Depending on what their own homes looked like, it might also be good for them to see another style of parenting. A style that is (hopefully) based in grace. In this case, they were able to see a mother attempting to set aside her own anger & even embarrassment. They saw a mother who didn't just let the offense pass, but instead attempted to use both truth and grace as she reprimanded and forgave her daughter's sinful behavior. My hope is that through those actions my friends will see the love of God for his children, and that I might be able to have a future conversation with them on that very topic.

Visa trip to Ma - Cow

Our visa requires that we leave the country every 90 days. So we usually end up taking a short trip to a neighboring country- wherever we can find the cheapest flights. This time, we took our first trip to Macau. Cosi was very excited about going to see a cow.

Sadly for Cosi, we never once saw a cow... But we did have fun :)


Honestly, Macau is not a very family friendly location. I pictured beautiful sidewalks with multi-colored Portuguese influenced homes lining the street. I think I saw a picture like that and my imagination flew. Although there are some tourist locations like that, the majority of Macau is a city with cheesy casinos. It's hard to navigate and bad for pedestrians (especially those with strollers, which might have been just us in the whole city). I'm thankful to have gone, but I'd be okay with never going back.













The Ruins of St Paul's Cathedral was one place that I really liked - though it could be because a Starbucks and a McDonalds were nearby. The Ruins were amazing. I couldn't read the brochure about it, because Trey slobbered it to a pulp, but I think it has something to do with a church that was destroyed by fire and only one wall was left standing. Even without the history, it's an incredible sight to see. If I knew the history....well, I can only imagine how awesome that would be...

Here's Cosi holding her new keychain. The ruins are behind her.






















Cosi, the destroyer of idols (a veritable Josiah of modern day), stroller-rammed a Buddhist offering that was sitting outside a store. It looked much like this one, but had a lot of fruit. I guess Buddha likes pomelo. What Buddha-lovers do not like is a stroller running over their offerings. What they like even less is a culturally insensitive mother who tries to upright the offering with her foot. I know, I know, it was an impulsive move for a non-Buddhist. I realized it as soon as the store owner yelled at me. But, I was trying to hold onto a wirey 4 year-old girl who often forgets that she's not allowed to push the stroller into the busy car-filled street located mere steps away. What I'm trying to say is that my hands were otherwise occupied, as they have been for the past 10 months since Cosi joined our family. Anyhow, what I'm really trying to say is that if you want to tick off a Buddhist person, knock over their idol and then upright it with your foot. Works every time.







The most disappointing part of our trip (for me) was missing the Macau Grand Prix. It's a car race that happens on the streets of Macau - how awesome does that sound??? It happens every year in November. Since I didn't know anything about Macau before our trip (except that it's a cheap flight in & out, therefore a good location for a quick visa trip), I had never heard of this race. But, once we arrived and I couldn't help but hear about it and see it at every turn. It was then that I knew my forever dream was to see cars go fast on streets. I picture it being like a James Bond movie. What's not to like? Sadly for me, the Macau Grand Prix was Nov. 17-20. We were there Nov. 14-17. All we got to see were the signs and street preparations mocking my lack of proper travel plans. I blame it on my preoccupation with the children....too many poopy diapers slowing me down...The closest we got to the action was walking past this grandstand a few times a day. In Macau's defense, we should note that our view of macau as bad for pedestrians might be strongly influenced by the preparations they made for the Grand Prix.





And - who's that boy? (rocking the swing like it's his business) who's that boy? It's Trey!

We took this on the day that we ate at Fernando's. (no pictures from the lunch itself) It's a famous, beach-front Portuguese restaurant. Rob had no desire to go (there was a McDonald's in Macau, remember?), but I was determined. We took a bus for 30 minutes to get there. We could have taken a taxi, but we're cheap. We waited in line until the restaurant opened at 12. By this time, our kids were already fussy. They didn't have any kids seats (Rob pointed out that McDonald's has kids seats). Our kids were the only kids present. Their usual clientele didn't need kids seats. I'm kinda surprised they even let us in the door actually. Anyhow, in a classy mom-like fashion (or desperation), I sped through the menu and picked out our food, which were the only two non-seafood items on the menu. Since the waitresses were all at other tables, I approached the server station, baby in tow, and begged to get our food order in first. I need not have begged. They wanted to get us out ASAP, too. I then proceeded with the next phase of my plan = nurse the baby to sleep and then Rob & I will outnumber the awake child and be able to split the work while we eat. Fail. My normally good little eater kept pulling off and exposing his mother to the other guests. I could have forgiven his lack of discretion had he eventually dozed off, but it was not to be. The two little ones teamed up to make lunch a mildly unpleasant experience, somewhere between getting a splinter and minor surgery. Rob was right, McDonald's might be our best choice for eating out these days :)

So, there's an overview of our trip to Macau! One of the things that I like about our life is that we get to travel. In honor of thanksgiving, I'm going to write a list of things that I'm thankful for. This will be near the top.

Things we probably shouldn't do...

Exhibit A: Strap our son into a chair and place him in front of a tv


But, at least one of our kids can be hypnotized by the power of the television. This mama needs a break sometimes...

Don't buy the cheap diapers!

Maybe this is why Mamy Poko brand never made it to the USA?

And - we didn't take any more pictures, but every morning he wakes up with the stomach/crotch area totally soaked through. It's gross, but I'm too cheap to just throw away the diapers.

On another topic, Trey is doing a little better with eating. Thank you for your suggestions! It seems that he likes avocados and sweet potatoes. Well, so do I! We also found some imported ($$$) egg-free baby teething biscuits at the store here in EA. He does much better if he has one of those to suck on. I'll sneak a spoonful of food in, then he'll swallow the food down while he's chewing on his biscuit. He also seemed to do better with apples after I added cinnamon. But, he had some sort of allergic reaction to the cinnamon. His chubby cheeks & both chins were really red. Next up is self-imported Walmart baby oatmeal!

Cosi & Trey in Asia - Portraits!

Here are some of the cutest pictures ever, which is good, because it was miserable taking them. Cosi is 4 and Trey is 6 months old. Enjoy!

what Cosi did during ballet class

(Before Class conversation)

Cosi: (happy screaming)
East Asian Dance Teacher: "Will she scream like that during class?"
April: "Ummm....If she's having fun, she will..."

Maybe we'll try again next year?

Comparisons and the Insecure Daddy

It's hard for me to watch people's reactions to Cosi. She's developmentally delayed- physically, mentally and emotionally. So when I see other parents reacting to her misbehavior, or when I see the concerned looks when she is obviously not acting like a 'normal' 4 year-old, I feel defensive.

April, too, feels defensive, but she feels defensive of Cosi, which is a lot better than what I tend to feel. I feel defensive of myself as a parent. Especially in East Asia, where I need to be the primary communicator for our family, I end up being quick to explain to everyone that Cosi is adopted, that she was in an orphanage for 3 years, that she has been in our home for only 9 months, and that she is really doing very well, considering all that she has going against her.

I want people to know that I really am a good parent and that when my daughter hits a child who gets too close to her, it's not because she's mean but because she's scared. She doesn't understand or answer most of the questions people ask her in English (let alone in East Asian) and that doesn't mean she's rude or stupid or that I'm slacking in teaching her. She's only been learning these languages for a few months! And usually she's just so happy to be around people that she can't focus on what they're saying. So I overexplain and try to justify my child, lest someone think less of me because of her.

And it is hard to watch other 4 year-olds (and even 3 year-olds) and notice the ways in which Cosi is delayed. Sometimes, though, the comparisons are helpful. I tend to blame all her problems on her history, but sometimes she's just being a normal 4 year-old! Four year-olds grab toys, disobey, refuse to eat, make messes, and act...well...childish. As April sometimes jokingly reminds me when I'm disciplining Cosi for something petty, "You're right Rob, how DARE she act like a little kid!"

*Sigh*

So it looks like I'm projecting my perfectionist tendencies onto my daughter. It looks like my struggles with grace and the gospel will continue to affect those I love. It looks like Cosi will suffer for my insecurities.

She really is doing well. Every day I need to pray again that God would enlarge my heart to accept and love her as she is, even if this is as far as her development goes. And day by day I'm encouraged by the growth we see, but afraid that this is as far as it will go. So the next step is to learn how to stop giving a hoot about what other people think of my daughter (and of me as a parent) and remember to show grace to my daughter...and to myself.

Homemade Baby Food

At first I thought that starting Trey on baby food would make my life easier (you know, free up my chest a bit). Now, my magic bullet and I know better. Trey hates baby food. At first he tolerated it with wary glances and confusion. Now, he's fully aware and fully able to fight back. How do you stop a baby from spitting and pushing the food out with his tongue??? Especially when he looks so cute doing it???

Magic Bullet and I are still trying. We've pureed more than our share of vegetables & fruits. We've wasted plenty of personally imported Target baby rice cereal. We've varied the times of day that we try to feed the little one. We've googled looking for advice.

When I let my dryer go, I wasn't prepared for the amount of dirty clothes that come with feeding a baby. Bibs are a joke when your baby is this determined not to eat. The carrot soup is everywhere, except under a small patch just below his neck.

Anyhow, as you can see from the picture, our boy is not suffering any weight loss. Our neighbors regularly admire his nice, plump cheeks. Still, we will persist with our banana purees, knowing that someday (sometime near his 1st birthday, to be exact) his ready milk supply will be drying up and this baby will be growing up, like it or not.

Baby on the Move! Narrated by Trey

Master the Walker - Check!
















Follow Sister all over the Apartment - Double Check!
(Mental Note - Get my hands on that phone. It looks Awesome...)
















Still Following Sister all over the apartment - this girl is hilarious! I can't stop laughing. And Mommy and Daddy seem to really like it when I laugh.
























Look adorable - Done!
















Take a Break to Watch TV - It's good to be as close as possible, because then you can try to touch the buttons. Who knows what might happen? (My sister taught me this.)























Enter the Forbidden Kitchen - Loving it! Now on to touch the dirty trashcan!
















Ahhh....here's my prize.
















What the heck? What's going on here? I'm not giving up without a fight!

















You're going to have to pull me all over this apartment because I am not letting go! I'm holding on until the bitter end.
















Shoot! Who knew the bitter end would involve 3 small stairs? Contemplating my next move. To Be Continued...

Birthday - Part 1

Happy Birthday Cosi! We love you and we're so thankful to have you as our daughter :) Let the celebration begin!

Cosi's birthday started with a nice cup of tea...



















only a little bit spilled...



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and, then onward with the painting of nails...













Trey wants in on the action!













Cosi & Daddy went for a walk outside. Check out Cosi's sweet new boots! They're great for walking up & down 4 flights of stairs :)



















If it's your birthday, then you're pretty much guaranteed a ride on one of these!















Then, Cosi & Trey watched Mommy shower. Or - maybe Trey just watched Cosi (his favorite person in the world). This is the view from the shower.
















Then, we took Cosi to an indoor playplace and this is how she feels about getting her picture taken. I took a lot of pictures anyway. It's my daughter's 4th Birthday. I'm going to take some pictures.



























Zip Line



















Cosi decided it was more fun to let go mid-ride.



















Trey wanted in on the action.













Cosi sure does like hanging out with boys. Notice how she brushes her hair back in the picture. It's her classic "I'm flirting" gesture.














But, she still makes time to shoot the air cannon with her daddy!













Look! There's a good target! Let's shoot him and see if he can still sit up by himself :)



















After the playplace, we stopped by Dairy Queen for a Blizzard. The Blizzard Machine was broken, so we got this!














A serious eater, but she's still happy to share...




















Then, back to business...













As we exited DQ, we met some new friends. We're always happy to cozy up to law enforcement. And - Cosi was promptly gifted a milk drink.














Trey was complimented for his enormous size and big eyes.














Then, we came home and ate a Ukrainian style meal. I made some potato dumplings and stuffed cabbage leaves. Cosi didn't like it very much, so we ended up feeding her goldfish crackers, a cheese stick and some mandarin oranges. I guess all the American food has gotten to her. We sat in our living room, because our dining room table was covered with stuff and I was too tired to clean it off. Plus, Cosi likes trying new things, so it was a good choice.













We forgot to take a picture of Cosi blowing out her candles on her cupcake. This is the first time we've been the parents during a birthday, so we're still learning. Thankfully, we're having a party for her tomorrow and we promise to do better. Here is a picture of the smashed cupcake after Cosi had her way with it.














Happy Birthday Cosi!!!! Let the Birthday weekend continue!!!!