One Year Ago Today

On December 20, 2010, we met Cosi for the first time!

Our precious little girl strolled into the meeting room like she owned the place. We quickly discovered her love for gloves and coats, as she snagged ours. We followed her around the room and asked ourselves Is this our daughter, the little girl that we had prayed for years to bring home? What we saw was a vivacious girl who wanted to play with anyone and everyone. Why are you all sitting there talking? She seemed to be thinking, We could be running around this room, exploring every corner of it!
After we chased her around for about 15 minutes (or, more accurately, Rob chased her around and a very pregnant April slowly followed), the orphanage director asked us, "Well? What do you think? Are you going to adopt her?" Rob immediately said "OK!" Then he looked at April to make sure he hadn't made such a big decision unilaterally. April said, "Yeah!"
Immediately after that, we were shuffled over to another room, where a Christmas performance was about to begin (and it is possible they were delaying the start of it until we arrived, since the orphanage director was with us). Cosi happily sat on April's lap, twice grabbing the hair bands from the hair of the girl sitting in front of her (a classic Cosi move that still comes out every now & then...). As St. Nicholas arrived to talk to the gathered children, we couldn't help but think that all three of us had already gotten the best Christmas gift possible that year. It would take another few weeks of paperwork, court dates, calls to East Asia's Interpol Office, a brawl in the Ukrainian Parliament, and a lot of other hurdles before Cosi was officially our daughter, but December 20th is the day we became a family in our hearts.

And - here she is now, her life has changed a lot in the past year and so has ours, for the better :)

Rob's Online Moment

Yes, I'm still in Svalyava. But I am having lunch at "LeRoy", the only wireless hotspot in this corner of Transcarpathia, as far as I know. The past two days were mostly a lot of driving around- we went to Perechin (Cosi's birthplace) twice and Uzhgorod (the provincial capitol) once. Maybe once I get more than a few moments of online time in between bites (yes, April, I am eating. And it's the best meal I've had in a while- I ordered steak and rice with vegetables and it's really good! Really!!), I can post some pictures and thoughts on those two cities. I'll simply say that I can't say or even read "Perechin" without wanting to say "Took" after it. Hobbit fans know what I'm talking about. As for Uzhgorod, I have to resist the temptation to say it with a deep, ominous voice. "And then, we journeyed to...Oooooooozhgorod." I did enjoy my short visits to these cities, though.

So the news is not bad but not great. Things are progressing, but slowly. We probably won't get back to Kiev until the morning we're supposed to fly out. But we still need to get Cosi a physical and a US visa, which can't be done on the weekend, so all that will be on Monday, and we can hopefully fly out on Wednesday. More than once I've considered how it might be possible to just sneak her out of the country. That would probably would create more problems than it solves, so I'm still waiting for paperwork. Right now, we're all just waiting for her new identification number. Without that, we can't do anything more.

So the good thing is that while we wait, I get time with Cosi. Next time I'm online, I'll have some pictures or videos ready to post. Today she played really well with Sasha, one of the new orphans in her group. That was great for me to see, because we were told that she's not able to play with other children.

Interesting note before I sign off- Sasha and a few other kids in Cosi's group have started calling me "baba" (daddy), probably because I'm the only guy they see and because they caretakers keep telling Cosi to call me that. Cosi did, however, yell at me when I picked up Sasha yesterday.

And yes, as April mentioned, our facilitator passed her kidney stone while talking to me on the phone. More on that another time. Suffice to say, it will be forever in my memory as my most awkward phone conversation...ever.

Update

Rob wrote this yesterday - today he's in Svalyava WITH our facilitator. PTL! (our facilitator passed her kidney stone WHILE on the phone with Rob (awkward) - maybe he'll blog about that one later...)

Barring any more surprises, I'll be traveling to Svalyava tonight. The only question is whether or not our facilitator will join me. Either way, I'm going. If her kidney stones are under control, then she's going, too. Otherwise, I need to be prepared for an interesting time:
If our facilitator isn't able to travel with me, then Pasha will pick me up at the train station, take me to the court, the orphanage, the photo studio, and then to cities with Tolienesque names like "Ukghorod" and "Perechyn." While at all the appropriate offices, Pasha will call Helen (our facilitator) and read the forms to her. Then Helen will tell me what information she needs from me, which she will then translate to Pasha. That much is doable.
But this process has required more than just paperwork, it's needed a certain amount of finesse that can't be done over the phone. Helen needs to talk to the right people to get things working smoothly, and I don't think she'll be able to do that from Kiev.
So I'm all packed up again (mostly) and am loading up my ipod with episodes of Battlestar Galactica, a show I just started watching (thanks Nate!), and I'm going to have some pizza and ice cream before I go. I do love pierogies, potatoes, and borscht, but a man has his needs...

I'm trying not to be cyncial, but...

My suitcase was all packed except for the pairs of jeans still drying on top of the heater in the guest bedroom that has been my home for most of the past 5 weeks. I was backing up my hard drive, adding videos to my ipod, and planning my snacks for the night.

Today, the court decision became effective; today, Cosi became my daughter. Today, I was supposed to get on an overnight train, arrive there in the morning, pick up the documents from the courthouse, and then hold my little girl for the first time as her legal father.

And then our facilitator, Helen, called- she was in the hospital with kidney stones. At first, we discussed the possibility that I would still go out there alone, meet Pasha, pick up the document, and do what I could until Helen arrived, maybe a day behind me. But then Helen realized that I could do nothing. I am totally helpless- I can neither read nor fill out the forms I would need to use, and we don't know anyone there with enough English to help me out. Traveling all over Trans-Carpathia without a translator and with an adoption on the line just doesn't seem wise.

And then the kidney stones got worse- Helen has a doctor's appointment tomorrow morning. In a transparent effort to keep my hopes up, she says, "Maybe I will be lucky, I don't know. maybe we can go tomorrow." I can tell she is in a lot of pain and that she is also stressed because she knows how this will affect our timing (flights, etc.). I try to be as gracious and reassuring as possible, for her sake. And for my own sake, lest I become completely self-focused.

We will wait and see how tomorrow goes. At some point tomorrow, I need to bring up the possibility of her sending someone else with us. if this drags on for a few days, timing becomes a really big problem.

So another night in Kiev, another night spent wondering if my daughter remembers me and if she wonders where I am. Another night asking God why it has been such a long road with so many unexpected turns and roadblocks. Sometimes I feel this experience chipping away at my ability to trust God. I know he's in control, and I know he's trustworthy, but...

But I'm always afraid to finish that sentence.

Anyway, pray for Helen- a woman you don't know who is probably suffering incredibly right now, more so than the mental and emotional stress I'm sorting through. And at least I have some Oreo's to help me out.

Flipping with Daddy, plus more updates

Rob's sisters will recognize this- he can still remember his dad doing this with him and his siblings and cousins. Was that 30 years ago?! Yikes.

Anyway, Cosi wasn't too sure what was going on at first, but after one flip, she was won over.



On another note, I (Rob) am really missing Cosi. It's hard being 14 hours away and knowing that there's still a chance that someone in the next three days could try to block our adoption. Our timetable has changed a little, but not much. During the week after our court appointment, Rob will be spending most of his time in a car with our facilitator and driver, traveling around the Carpathian mountains getting documents in order. Once we have her passport, new birth certificate, new identification number, etc., then we'll take her home. Well, in a roundabout way. First we'll take her to Kiev for a medical check and US (and maybe East Asia?) visa, THEN back to Virginia.

Also, April made it safely back to Virginia last night and is probably enjoying Chick-fil-a even as I type this.

Goodbye, April

I just got back to our friends' apartment after seeing April off. We're so glad she is able to return to the States early. Even though it will be hard to be apart for the next 2 1/2 weeks, and it will be tough wrapping up the adoption by myself, it's really best for April to be in the US. She'll be able to get a check-up for Baby #2, get some things ready for Cosi, and maybe even eat some fresh vegetables!

Sometimes It's Better Not to Know

Today, our facilitator continued to explain why she thought our daughter's orphanage wasn't a good place for her development. She said that some of the workers there use a certain suffix when saying the kids' names, a suffix that implies you think the other person is an imbecile or idiot. Unfortunately, though Rob had noticed the suffix, he didn't realize it was derogatory, and so he started using it when playing with the children!
So now we're upset that some of the workers have been insulting our daughter right in front of us :( And we're more eager than ever to get her out of the orphanage and into our home.

Paperwork update- everything is still on track, except we had a surprise this morning, learning that there is one document in Svalyava that must have April's signature before she leaves. Power of attorney means nothing in this village. So that document is on a train tonight and will reach April on her way to the airport tomorrow. Yikes...

We're praying for no more "Oh yeah, and she'll need to sign this paper" situations after she leaves!

A Short Update

Today was a day of logistics. We found that April will be able to return to the US on Wednesday, as scheduled (yay!). We also got papers signed at the US consulate so that Rob will be able to do all the paperwork in April's absence. Tomorrow we're off to the notary to get power of attorney (or, as Rob sometimes slips up and calls it, "power of eternity"). Current projections for Rob and Cosi's triumphant arrival in the US: late night January 29th...

Our Court Appearance- The Long Version

As you can see, this really is the long version, but we know that some of you are interested in hearing the whole story, and some of you are just saying, "Less talk! More videos and pictures!" To the later group, we'll have some fresh videos up soon, including- "Cosi versus the juice box."

Our train arrived at 8:50am. The ever faithful and well-paid Pasha was waiting on the platform to pick us up. But, even if he hadn't been, we were asked about 10 times by 10 different men, "taxi?" But we like Pasha, so we were happy to see his smiling face and his reliable car.

We arrived at the courthouse at 9:20 on the dot, only to wait an hour for our hearing. We were told to expect the hearing to last about 15-20 minutes.

At 10:20am, we entered the courtroom with a small crowd of unidentified people. We later found out that group contained the Inspector (like a social worker), a representative of the orphanage, a secretary, a prosecutor (wait...why is there a prosecutor? This should have been our first clue that this was not a friendly chat with the judge), and two people who were paid to be witnesses (their role is still unclear to us). We sat with our facilitator on a long wooden bench, next to some potted plants.

Within a few minutes, the judge entered the room and everyone stood. The judge was a woman, which was surprising since all the other big players were men. She was wearing a pink dress and a very interesting black hat. The hat was big, a little lacey and had a large bow on the side. We couldn't stop looking at it.

The proceedings were all in Ukrainian. We were given partial translation by our facilitator. Essentially, she told us stuff every now and then when she thought it was important. Things like "stand up, no not both of you, just Rob." (which was just as well, because as April stood, she knocked one of the plants off the bench and it landed face down, so she needed to discretely re-pot the plant while attention was on Rob.) Anyhow, then we'd get questions like, "Where do you live?" or "Are you a criminal?" or "Do you have a problem with alcohol or drug abuse?" Really? Does anyone answer "Yes" at that point? "Gee, your honor, now that you mention it..."

The funniest point was when our facilitator mistranslated a question for Rob. The question was supposed to be, "what are you using for identification?" and the answer would be "a US Passport." Instead, she asked "how would you document your personality?" Rob fumbled a bit and started talking about how he likes to read, before our translator re-phrased her question.

We thought things were going well, but after that the judge started flipping through our giant dossier (maybe 150 pages long) and making comments about every page. [Side note- the state department of adoption confirmed that we have the thickest dossier in their history.] We didn't know what she was saying. The only thing our facilitator said was, "the judge is not happy." And - just like that, we were totally nervous.

After about a half hour of who knows what, the judge announced a 5 minute break, which turned into a one hour break. The prosecutor had a problem with one detail of our adoption request, and they needed an hour to "resolve" the issue.

However, after the break, we were ushered back into the courtroom and told "Congratulations, you are parents!"

So that afternoon, we were able to visit Cosi again. She seemed to remember us, which was good, and she still seemed to prefer going to April over Rob. However, at one point, when April was holding her and Rob picked up another one of the little kids in the orphanage, Cosi had (what we believe to be) a jealous look in her big brown eyes. We don't think she liked Rob holding another kid.

Yay! Another step completed. But there is still the chance that a new objection will be filed in the next 10 days. Our adoption will be really really official on the 17th.

Pasha- The Guy Who Gets Things Done

Whenever you do business in another country, you need a guy who gets things done. This is the guy who knows people in town, who knows where to go and what to do, and who makes miracles happen. It's their job to do this, and we pay them well. We know a guy like this in East Asia, we've heard of guys like this in other countries, and in Svalyava, we have Pasha.

Pasha's wife works in the orphanage, which is how we were connected to him. He was sent to pick us up at the train station during our first visit, and he invited us to stay with his family (for a price, of course). While we were there, Pasha was not only our driver, he was also the guy who told us where to find the right offices and who to talk to in those offices. If Pasha called ahead, we were always greeted with a smile. While we were gone, Pasha was the guy running around getting paperwork in the right hands, picking documents up from the train for us, and overall making things run as smoothly as possible.

You can't walk from the Pasha's car to a building without him stopping to greet a few people. Pasha is a man who knows people. During the one hour recess of our court hearing, Pasha was right there, making sure we knew how to get things worked out.

While we stayed with Pasha and his family, his wife made us breakfast and dinner each day. We listened to their stories of the Soviet days and the post-Soviet days. Pasha told us about his years as a logger in Siberia. They showed us their photo album of all the other families (mostly Italian) who had stayed with them while adopting from Svalyava. They told us stories of the Orthodox Jewish family from Israel who brought all their own food and cooking utensils. They told us about the family who thought Ukrainians were starving, so they brought suitcases full of food for Pasha and his wife. They made sure we knew that working around a simple egg-allergy was no big deal.

So here's to Pasha- one of the many "angels of our adoption" (as Rob cheesily calls them)- the people who, in their own way, are making sure Cosi finds her way to our home.

"Congratulations, You Are Parents"

That's how our facilitator, Helen, translated the judge's ruling on our court date yesterday. She was crying as she said it, April was crying when she heard it (part stress, part happiness), and Rob just couldn't stop staring at the judge's big hat. We'll post a full description of the court date later (it was a 3 hour ordeal, not the relaxed 20 minutes we were told to expect). Right now we're in between guestrooms and need to pack up.

The one possible fly in the ointment is that, according to the unique rules of this little city, they may need April to sign a piece of paper on the 18th, which would mean she can't fly back on the 12th. We'll know for sure on Monday, the 10th. Apparently, power of attorney doesn't carry much weight in this province. We're praying it works out for April to still leave on the 12th (because April has an ultrasound scheduled on the 13th and a doctors appointment on the 14th - to find out why she was measuring over a month ahead at her December 8th appointment), but we'll keep you all updated!

One more prayer request - that nothing happens in the next 10 days (the official waiting period) to challenge our rights as parents!

January 6th!!

We finally received our court date- January 6th!! This is good news, because it means that Rob and Cosi could potentially be back in the States by the end of January. Here's how the schedule works:

Jan 5th: Overnight train to Svalyava.
Jan 6th: 930am-Appear in court for what is usually a routine appearance before a judge, who has full power to grant or deny our adoption. Once the the judge approves it, the decision is official. After that, we will have another chance to see our daughter before our overnight train back to Kiev.
Jan 7th-9th: Christmas break in Ukraine. Everything is closed.
Jan 12th: April flies back to the US.
Jan 17th: After a 10 day waiting period (during which people can protest the adoption, which rarely happens), Rob gets to pick up Cosi and she is finally and forever a part of our family!
Jan 17-24th: Travel to Uzgorod to do the paperwork for Cosi's passport.
Jan 24th-?: Back to Kiev to get Cosi's US visa and immigration forms in order. Hopefully this will be a quick process.

Prayer requests:
-The judge will grant our adoption and no one will file an objection.
-All the crazy paperwork will be in order and NO more surprises!
-April's travel, both on the trains and flying alone back to Virginia.
-Rob, as he tries out single-parenting a hyperactive 3 year old who doesn't speak English, while traveling around a foreign country, while trying to get paperwork finished...and then flying back to the States.

We're so excited to see her again in just 2 days. We've been going over our pictures and videos everyday and eagerly looking forward to our next visit. The adoption journey is nearing its end! And after that, a whole new journey begins.

One Year Ago

One year ago, we had our little foster baby, Helen. We were having our first real "trial run" as parents and were saying, "Hey, this isn't so hard!" OK, so we were a little naive.

One year ago, we were spending new year's eve with some friends, and Rob got really sick- the first day of a week long bout of dysentery.

One year ago, we were in a different apartment, trying to keep our landlady from storing more stuff in our cabinets and trying not to let on that there would soon be a child in our home (on several occasions she tried hard to convince us to wait to have kids, for the sake of keeping her apartment clean).

One year ago, it hadn't even entered our imagination that April would be pregnant before our adoption was final.

One year ago, we were expecting to bring our daughter home from Ukraine sometime in the summer of 2010...and that she would be about 18 months old.

One year ago, Rob hadn't started noticing gray hairs.

One year ago, we never gave a thought to Interpol or the actions of the Ukrainian Parliament.

One year ago, we were in a very different place! Much has changed, but God has not.

One year from now...well, it makes me dizzy to think of all that will change in the next year!

It Gets Worse

So I'm about to call East Asia Interpol myself and see if that helps. Talk about an impasse...

East Asia refuses to do a report on us because we're not criminals. But Ukraine cannot move forward with our adoption until they have that report. Ukraine is willing to accept a document explaining why they won't do a report, but East Asia Interpol won't even produce a document like that.

AAAAARGGGGHHHHH!!!!!

Our Adoption: The Neverending Story

Our saga continues as our heroes are aided in their quest by an unlikely ally: The East Asian Ambassador to Ukraine.

When we last left our weary family, they were awaiting approval from East Asia's Interpol office. The latest reports indicate that Ukraine's Interpol office has faithfully faxed requests to East Asia, requests which have been repeatedly ignored.

The intrepid facilitator, Helen, is exhausting all her resources to find a way to get this form. So she called the highest ranking East Asian official in Ukraine. Interestingly, this was not their first meeting. The Ambassador very kindly helped the adoption along a few months ago by providing a form which the East Asian government was unwilling to provide our soon-to-be-parents. He has proven a very helpful and kind gentleman, and we wonder if he's just excited that anyone in Ukraine is interested in East Asia.

So stay tuned, and see if the Ambassador's phone call makes a difference!

(All I can say is...Cosi is going to have quite the story to tell someday.)

Maybe January 6th?

Update on East Asia Interpol Clearance = we don't have it yet! We're still waiting on East Asia.

At this point, we're told that we will not be able to have our court date on December 30th. If East Asia Interpol comes through this week, then we can have our court date on January 6th. (as long as Ukraine doesn't vote to put a moratorium on adoptions before then)

What does that mean for us? An extra week of waiting (we're looking at a late January return to the USA at this point) - and - decisions to be made about me (April) flying back (alone) early to have a doctor's appointment for baby #2 (the doctor wanted me to have an ultrasound at my last appointment b/c i might have excess fluid, but i put it off b/c I was flying out the next day for Ukraine).... we're not sure what to do... Maybe I'll fly back to the US for the doctors appointment and then return to Ukraine. Then, I could spend the last week of January in Ukraine waiting and doing paperwork with Rob & Cosi, as well as be able to fly back with them to the US. She's going to be more than a handful on the plane...plus I don't want to miss out on those first days once we have our daughter...

Decisions, decisions...

More Videos

This first video is Cosi running past Daddy to get to Mommy :) In the beginning, she is being held back by the worker because they were trying to finish putting her shoes and clothes on- it seems like torture! The poor little girl just wanted to run to Mommy! We think it's so funny how she gives Rob a little sideways glance as she runs past him.


And here's where we're trying to teach her to say "Zip!" and to come to us for help when she needs it. She's very independent.


This last video is of the other children in Cosi's group- bear in mind that all of these children are over three years old. After seeing these kids, we can understand why she hasn't developed much of her speaking abilities and why she tends to grab whatever she wants (because what will any of these kids do to stop her?) We were happy to hear that Dasha (the little blond girl rolling on the floor) was just adopted by a family from Luxembourg- they had their court hearing yesterday. Dasha is unable to swallow, walk, talk, or hold up her head, and she has a lot of other health problems. At the end, there's a shot of Cosi playing with one of her caretakers. This particular woman was very warm and friendly and obviously cared for our little girl. And yes, Cosi is on the potty.

Prayer Request- Interpol

While we were posting videos, we got a call from our facilitator, who was submitting our documents so that we could get our FINAL court date- the one that makes Cosi our daughter. Unfortunately, there is one crucial document missing- the Interpol clearance from East Asia. They've been waiting 2 months and it has not arrived.

We can't get the court hearing without this document, and though it's just a matter of time, right now, time is not our friend. With April getting further along in her pregnancy, we need to get those trans-Atlantic (and trans-Pacific) flights done soon. And if we can't get the court date before New Year's Eve, then we get hit by the holidays here (Christmas is a week after New Year's Day in Ukraine).

So last time we asked for prayer, you all prayed so hard that the Ukrainian Parliament broke out into a fight. Let's see what we can do with East Asia's Interpol office!

Videos of Cosi

OK, so these are pretty poor quality- the camera didn't do so well in the low light of the orphanage. These first two videos are Cosi running to April when we showed up on days 2 and 3, after she started to understand a little who we were. Or maybe she would run to anyone who stood at the door with arms wide open. But then again, on day 4, we tried to have her run to Rob, and she dodged him to get to April! We'll post that one later...

We're not sure what she's saying when she runs to April- we think "YaYa!" is just what she says when she gets REALLY happy. Kind of like "Yay!"





And this video is playing outside. She likes wearing gloves but doesn't like it when her hands or gloves get dirty. She also liked imitating her Daddy when he would blow his breath in the cold air or make Donald Duck noises.

Pictures of Cosi

Introducing -- Cosette Marie Sue Edenfield!
Videos soon to follow...



























The outside of the orphanage in Svalyava, Ukraine




















She loved wearing Rob's gloves.


































Potty Time! Every few hours they make the kids sit on the potty for about 20 minutes.
















































She loved wearing our coats (this is actually her grandma's coat b/c I'm borrowing it). After a couple days, we realized she was hinting that she wanted to go outside.















Lunch Time! She does pretty well using a spoon by herself (even when I distract her with the camera).