Comparisons and the Insecure Daddy

It's hard for me to watch people's reactions to Cosi. She's developmentally delayed- physically, mentally and emotionally. So when I see other parents reacting to her misbehavior, or when I see the concerned looks when she is obviously not acting like a 'normal' 4 year-old, I feel defensive.

April, too, feels defensive, but she feels defensive of Cosi, which is a lot better than what I tend to feel. I feel defensive of myself as a parent. Especially in East Asia, where I need to be the primary communicator for our family, I end up being quick to explain to everyone that Cosi is adopted, that she was in an orphanage for 3 years, that she has been in our home for only 9 months, and that she is really doing very well, considering all that she has going against her.

I want people to know that I really am a good parent and that when my daughter hits a child who gets too close to her, it's not because she's mean but because she's scared. She doesn't understand or answer most of the questions people ask her in English (let alone in East Asian) and that doesn't mean she's rude or stupid or that I'm slacking in teaching her. She's only been learning these languages for a few months! And usually she's just so happy to be around people that she can't focus on what they're saying. So I overexplain and try to justify my child, lest someone think less of me because of her.

And it is hard to watch other 4 year-olds (and even 3 year-olds) and notice the ways in which Cosi is delayed. Sometimes, though, the comparisons are helpful. I tend to blame all her problems on her history, but sometimes she's just being a normal 4 year-old! Four year-olds grab toys, disobey, refuse to eat, make messes, and act...well...childish. As April sometimes jokingly reminds me when I'm disciplining Cosi for something petty, "You're right Rob, how DARE she act like a little kid!"

*Sigh*

So it looks like I'm projecting my perfectionist tendencies onto my daughter. It looks like my struggles with grace and the gospel will continue to affect those I love. It looks like Cosi will suffer for my insecurities.

She really is doing well. Every day I need to pray again that God would enlarge my heart to accept and love her as she is, even if this is as far as her development goes. And day by day I'm encouraged by the growth we see, but afraid that this is as far as it will go. So the next step is to learn how to stop giving a hoot about what other people think of my daughter (and of me as a parent) and remember to show grace to my daughter...and to myself.

Homemade Baby Food

At first I thought that starting Trey on baby food would make my life easier (you know, free up my chest a bit). Now, my magic bullet and I know better. Trey hates baby food. At first he tolerated it with wary glances and confusion. Now, he's fully aware and fully able to fight back. How do you stop a baby from spitting and pushing the food out with his tongue??? Especially when he looks so cute doing it???

Magic Bullet and I are still trying. We've pureed more than our share of vegetables & fruits. We've wasted plenty of personally imported Target baby rice cereal. We've varied the times of day that we try to feed the little one. We've googled looking for advice.

When I let my dryer go, I wasn't prepared for the amount of dirty clothes that come with feeding a baby. Bibs are a joke when your baby is this determined not to eat. The carrot soup is everywhere, except under a small patch just below his neck.

Anyhow, as you can see from the picture, our boy is not suffering any weight loss. Our neighbors regularly admire his nice, plump cheeks. Still, we will persist with our banana purees, knowing that someday (sometime near his 1st birthday, to be exact) his ready milk supply will be drying up and this baby will be growing up, like it or not.

Baby on the Move! Narrated by Trey

Master the Walker - Check!
















Follow Sister all over the Apartment - Double Check!
(Mental Note - Get my hands on that phone. It looks Awesome...)
















Still Following Sister all over the apartment - this girl is hilarious! I can't stop laughing. And Mommy and Daddy seem to really like it when I laugh.
























Look adorable - Done!
















Take a Break to Watch TV - It's good to be as close as possible, because then you can try to touch the buttons. Who knows what might happen? (My sister taught me this.)























Enter the Forbidden Kitchen - Loving it! Now on to touch the dirty trashcan!
















Ahhh....here's my prize.
















What the heck? What's going on here? I'm not giving up without a fight!

















You're going to have to pull me all over this apartment because I am not letting go! I'm holding on until the bitter end.
















Shoot! Who knew the bitter end would involve 3 small stairs? Contemplating my next move. To Be Continued...

Birthday - Part 1

Happy Birthday Cosi! We love you and we're so thankful to have you as our daughter :) Let the celebration begin!

Cosi's birthday started with a nice cup of tea...



















only a little bit spilled...



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and, then onward with the painting of nails...













Trey wants in on the action!













Cosi & Daddy went for a walk outside. Check out Cosi's sweet new boots! They're great for walking up & down 4 flights of stairs :)



















If it's your birthday, then you're pretty much guaranteed a ride on one of these!















Then, Cosi & Trey watched Mommy shower. Or - maybe Trey just watched Cosi (his favorite person in the world). This is the view from the shower.
















Then, we took Cosi to an indoor playplace and this is how she feels about getting her picture taken. I took a lot of pictures anyway. It's my daughter's 4th Birthday. I'm going to take some pictures.



























Zip Line



















Cosi decided it was more fun to let go mid-ride.



















Trey wanted in on the action.













Cosi sure does like hanging out with boys. Notice how she brushes her hair back in the picture. It's her classic "I'm flirting" gesture.














But, she still makes time to shoot the air cannon with her daddy!













Look! There's a good target! Let's shoot him and see if he can still sit up by himself :)



















After the playplace, we stopped by Dairy Queen for a Blizzard. The Blizzard Machine was broken, so we got this!














A serious eater, but she's still happy to share...




















Then, back to business...













As we exited DQ, we met some new friends. We're always happy to cozy up to law enforcement. And - Cosi was promptly gifted a milk drink.














Trey was complimented for his enormous size and big eyes.














Then, we came home and ate a Ukrainian style meal. I made some potato dumplings and stuffed cabbage leaves. Cosi didn't like it very much, so we ended up feeding her goldfish crackers, a cheese stick and some mandarin oranges. I guess all the American food has gotten to her. We sat in our living room, because our dining room table was covered with stuff and I was too tired to clean it off. Plus, Cosi likes trying new things, so it was a good choice.













We forgot to take a picture of Cosi blowing out her candles on her cupcake. This is the first time we've been the parents during a birthday, so we're still learning. Thankfully, we're having a party for her tomorrow and we promise to do better. Here is a picture of the smashed cupcake after Cosi had her way with it.














Happy Birthday Cosi!!!! Let the Birthday weekend continue!!!!

One Birthday Coming Up!!!

Cosi turns 4 this Friday, October 21st! She has no idea what this means, but we're excited for her :)

Pictures will follow, but here are some of the birthday plans:

-Cupcakes with butterfly decorations on top (made with candy brought from USA) - I predict Cosi will love picking off the candy. Then, she'll pick apart the cake and get it all over the floor and maybe a little on the table. She'll have a great time. If we're lucky, that skinny-minny might even eat some of the cupcakes. More likely, her mother will be eating cupcakes for breakfast every day next week. Yes, I am that undisciplined. I'd put them in the freezer to discourage myself, but then I'd just eat frozen cupcakes. Did I mention that her father is allergic to eggs??? and, therefore he will not be indulging in said cupcakes.
-Birthday Pictures at an East Asian photo studio - Trey will join in this endeavor, as he is now 6 months old. Seriously, pictures will be posted as soon as we get them. This could be hilarious.
-Cosi will be trying out a new dance class on Saturday. If it works out, we will be paying the big bucks and getting her a membership. She doesn't have any other outlets for organized activities, so I think this might be really good for her. It might also be really hard for the rest of the class, especially the teacher. We'll see... I'm preparing for the possibility of being kindly asked never to return, which is guaranteed to be much harder on me than on my happy little girl.
-A small birthday party on Saturday - I might be attempting to make Ukrainian food for the party. Originally, Rob & I decided to buy pizza from a restaurant (seemed like the easiest thing to do), but then I remembered that Cosi doesn't like pizza as much as Rob & I do. And - it's her birthday, right? Cosi likes mashed potatoes, hot dogs, oranges, yogurt... So, now I'm rethinking food for the party. I'll keep rethinking it until, oh maybe Saturday morning, or hopefully Friday night. Either way, we'll be eating Borscht sometime this week!

We are so thankful for our little Cosi girl! Here she is after pulling all of her clothes out of the cabinet and rolling around on them. What can I say? She likes clothes.

The lunch that nightmares are made of...

Okay, not really, but it was pretty bad.

We were taking the kids out on campus to make some new friends. We stopped at a nice little Asian food restaurant. The employees welcomed us in and even helped me lift the stroller through the door. I was impressed. Honestly, most people just stop to stare at the white woman struggling with her stroller. Well, they stare until I ask them for help and then (with shock on their faces at being asked) they help me.

Anyhow the lunch started well...

(1) Then Cosi grabbed the bowl of toothpicks and very purposefully dropped them all over the table. No big deal. The waitress helped us put them back in the bowl, even after Cosi licked a few. No one who uses them will ever need to know.
(2) Cosi spilled her lukewarm tea all over the table. In the process of cleaning the tea up with napkins, Cosi hurled the wet napkins over onto the table of the people behind us. I pretended that I didn't notice.
(3) Not to be outdone, Trey started crying and wanted to be fed. After eating, he promptly spit up all over the floor of the restaurant leaving me feeling like I wasted my time and my preciously made milk.
(4) Cosi didn't want to eat and threw a temper tantrum. She tried to throw a lot more, but was thwarted in her efforts. Then, she decided to lay down on the seat and allow me to place green beans in her mouth (via chopsticks). I didn't argue. We'll work on table manners next year.
(5)Cosi started to tell us that she needed to "go pee pee in the grass." We questioned her truthfulness. It's socially acceptable for kids to go potty just about anywhere, so we've been letting our potty-training daughter leave her mark all over the city. She loves it, but it has turned her into a big liar. Picture us holding a pantless & smiling Cosi over a bush, but not even a drop of the promised pee pee emerging. Maybe she just loves a good breeze on her bare bottom. Actually, that sounds kind of nice... Anyhow after she persistently asked about five times, we paid the check and I picked her up to take her outside. As we were looking for a nice bush to shield her treasures from onlookers, I realized that my hip was warm & wet. It turns out that Cosi had already peed on the chair in the restaurant. Her dark jeans hid the wetness. My brown shirt did not. As for the upholstery on the furniture at the restaurant...well, I don't know.

The restaurant has found us out. I'm sure the two little foreign dolls (yang wawa) will not be welcomed back. Too much crying, puking, and urinating, along with the occasional wet napkin missiles = Stay home and eat!!

Overheard in Our Home

Lately, we've been trying to improve Cosi's ability to identify and speak about emotions.

Cosi, pointing to a cartoon character on TV: "Angry."
Rob: "No, not angry. Scottish."

The Park

One thing we like about our new home is that we live across the street from a public park. Now, for those of you who do not live in East Asia, I may need to explain that by "park" I mean something a little different from wide open green spaces with jogging paths, super-safe playground equipment, softball games, and public grills under quaint wooden shelters. Parks in East Asia are nice in a different way- think feng shui. Think curvy paths, arching bridges, patches of gravel, a large amphitheater, and random giant sculptures. This one is at the entrance to the park- a giant hand playing marbles (with a band-aid on the wrist?):


















We managed to get a "family of four self-portrait" that Trey slept through.























One inexplicable sculpture looks suspiciously like an East Asian version of a Coppertone ad.



















Cosi was very concerned about how dirty the boy's bottom ('peegu' in East Asian) seemed to be:



And lastly, this little gem is not in any way altered or Photoshopped. Nor was Cosi posed for it. This is a classic "accidentally hilarious" picture taken at just the right moment. Anyone want to add a caption? You might want to click on it to see the full size version!