The lunch that nightmares are made of...

Okay, not really, but it was pretty bad.

We were taking the kids out on campus to make some new friends. We stopped at a nice little Asian food restaurant. The employees welcomed us in and even helped me lift the stroller through the door. I was impressed. Honestly, most people just stop to stare at the white woman struggling with her stroller. Well, they stare until I ask them for help and then (with shock on their faces at being asked) they help me.

Anyhow the lunch started well...

(1) Then Cosi grabbed the bowl of toothpicks and very purposefully dropped them all over the table. No big deal. The waitress helped us put them back in the bowl, even after Cosi licked a few. No one who uses them will ever need to know.
(2) Cosi spilled her lukewarm tea all over the table. In the process of cleaning the tea up with napkins, Cosi hurled the wet napkins over onto the table of the people behind us. I pretended that I didn't notice.
(3) Not to be outdone, Trey started crying and wanted to be fed. After eating, he promptly spit up all over the floor of the restaurant leaving me feeling like I wasted my time and my preciously made milk.
(4) Cosi didn't want to eat and threw a temper tantrum. She tried to throw a lot more, but was thwarted in her efforts. Then, she decided to lay down on the seat and allow me to place green beans in her mouth (via chopsticks). I didn't argue. We'll work on table manners next year.
(5)Cosi started to tell us that she needed to "go pee pee in the grass." We questioned her truthfulness. It's socially acceptable for kids to go potty just about anywhere, so we've been letting our potty-training daughter leave her mark all over the city. She loves it, but it has turned her into a big liar. Picture us holding a pantless & smiling Cosi over a bush, but not even a drop of the promised pee pee emerging. Maybe she just loves a good breeze on her bare bottom. Actually, that sounds kind of nice... Anyhow after she persistently asked about five times, we paid the check and I picked her up to take her outside. As we were looking for a nice bush to shield her treasures from onlookers, I realized that my hip was warm & wet. It turns out that Cosi had already peed on the chair in the restaurant. Her dark jeans hid the wetness. My brown shirt did not. As for the upholstery on the furniture at the restaurant...well, I don't know.

The restaurant has found us out. I'm sure the two little foreign dolls (yang wawa) will not be welcomed back. Too much crying, puking, and urinating, along with the occasional wet napkin missiles = Stay home and eat!!

The Birth Story

Warning, this entry might not be for the faint of heart or weak of stomach. We posted it here for the many of our friends and family who have been asking for the story.

April's version of the birth:

Tuesday, April 12th

1:30 pm – afternoon appointment with the midwife – They used a fetal monitor on me and it turns out that I've been having small contractions for months! So that wasn't the baby just stretching into my rib cage??? I had no idea. The midwife said “oh, you were so uncomfortable all the time, how would you know?” I liked this, because it appealed to my self-pity tendencies. Anyhow, I was about 1 cm dilated and 50% effaced.

around 10:30 pm – Rob and I were trying to go to sleep, but Cosi had a bad dream and we let her climb into our bed. She was super excited and started happy kicking. This marks the first time all four of us attempted to sleep in a queen-sized bed. Fail. Need king-sized bed.

around 11 pm – Cosi was still in our bed. Now, with my newfound knowledge of contractions, I realized that I was having contractions and decided to time them. They were 7-8 minutes apart and strong enough to keep me awake. They were not yet strong enough to keep Rob awake, but that would soon change. I thought this would be a good time to check email, check facebook, and pack my bag (in that order). Rob asked me to wake him up about 10 minutes before we need to leave for the hospital, so he can get stuff together. I laughed (it was between contractions) at his trust in my ability to be able to predict such a moment and told him to get his stuff together then.

Wednesday, April 13th

1:45-2:55 am - Cosi has been moved back to her bed. I was having contractions every 5 minutes for one hour, and then they started coming every 3-4 minutes. We called our friend/neighbor to come over and watch Cosi.

3:20 am – Rob and I left our apartment and walked ¼ mile to the front of our neighborhood to get a taxi. We had to stop twice for contractions. There weren't any taxis on our street. We started walking toward a bigger street. We just missed a taxi. Some man (who was out in the middle of the night) took it before the pregnant woman in labor could get it – awesome.

3:40 am – We were in a taxi and on our way to the hospital. I did my best not to look like a woman who might have her water break or bleed in the driver's car, lest he turn us away.

3:50 am – We realized contractions were back to being 6 minutes apart, started to feel worried that we may have left too soon and might be turned away at the hospital.

4 am - After a quick trip without any traffic, we arrived at the hospital. They monitored my contractions (5-6 minutes apart) and told me the baby was coming!

7:45 am – My midwife arrived at the hospital and checked on me. She decided to break my water and start me on Pitocin to speed up labor. It worked and the pain increased significantly.

8 am – I was trying to tough it out and wait a bit longer to get an epidural.

8:30 am – I was begging for an epidural, but the doctor who administered epidurals wasn't at work yet.

8:45 am – Rob was a little embarrassed by this point, but knew better than to say anything. I was telling the nurse (not very politely) to get the doctor on the phone and find out how many more minutes until she arrived.

8:50 am – I got my epidural. The midwife had to hold me down in a fetal position while I was puking, but I got it. (I learned that big babies push into your stomach and make you puke during contractions) Anyhow, it was a special walking epidural that isn't as strong as the epidurals in the US. Just like the name implies, I was able to walk around. (This blog post is getting too long and is in danger of never being finished. The true summary begins and I'm not going to concentrate on correct verb tense usage.)

9 am-ish – The contractions still hurt, but became bearable.

11:45 am – I'm 10 cm and it's go time. The epidural has worn off and I'm not allowed to have more pain medication b/c “I need the pain to be able to push the baby out.” What the ??? At this point, I fully realize I am not in an American hospital. What happened = lots of screaming (worse than the movies, ask Rob, I'm not exaggerating), 3 doctors sticking their hands in me to turn his head, rapid Chinese conversations between doctors, me screaming at them “what are you saying?,” tearing, hematomas, and eventually the delivery of the most beautiful newborn I have EVER seen!

*One of the doctors who had a “hand” in my delivery was the head of the department. She showed up 30 minutes late to a luncheon (that she was speaking at), in order to help deliver Trey.

Robert Paul Edenfield III (Trey) was born at 12:43 pm on April 13th.

1 - 2pm- One of the doctors stitches me up, no anesthetics. They give me the rest of the epidural, to no effect. Agony. The doctor tells me, "I guess this spot is too low for the epidural to reach," yet makes no effort to do anything to help my pain except to repeatedly tell me "just a few more minutes." Rob gives me a washcloth to bite.

5pm – 7pm – surgery on me to repair my body from delivery. Me - “What's that? You want to give me general anesthesia and I won't feel pain for a few hours? Yes, please. In fact, maybe you could wake me up next week...”

7:00 pm – wake up while Rob is talking to the doctors, say lots of things that I don't remember...

My thoughts on pain medication: “Demerol is better than Percocet, but Percocet is still pretty darn good.”

My thoughts on blood loss: “Makes me feel dizzy.”

My thoughts on the East Asian nurses: "Not gentle."

My thoughts on not being able to sit up for a week: “My hips hurt.”

My thoughts about my husband: “What an incredible servant to Cosi, Trey & me” and “God gave me the best husband in the world” and “That man has truly seen me at my worst, truly.”

*And, just in case you were wondering, I pooped A LOT during labor. However, the doctor informed me that my “poop a lot during labor and avoid it for a week” strategy wasn't a good one. Apparently, when you eat, new poop builds up and you have to get it out within a few days or it becomes harder to get out...who knew?

Rob's version of the birth:

holy crap holy crap holy crap

why isn't the epidural helping?

wow, that's a lot of puke

she's going to puke again, I know the signs. Maybe I should tell the nurse.

At some point, isn't she bound by birth-etiquette to turn to me with an angry look and say “This is all YOUR fault”?

Wow, I didn't know she could scream like that.

Whoa, I didn't know any person could scream like that.

Yikes...that didn't even sound human.

I think they told me to stand here and hold her head forward just to keep me busy.

Hmmm...I probably shouldn't tell April what I think the doctors are saying. In fact, I think they have a secret code to make scary words indecipherable.

If it were me going through this experience, I would look for Eve in heaven and give her a big punch in the gut.

That's the top of his head- this is a special moment. Such a tiny head- the size of a tennis ball. He's not so big after all. O wait, the head keeps going...and going...holy crap he's HUGE! Was he just chilling in there with his arms around her lungs or something?

Now they're telling me to get my camera. I knew it- the “stand there and hold her head forward” position wasn't essential- they were just humoring me

Need...more...hands...Must get pictures and video.

Definitely a boy

holy crap holy crap holy crap

The Final Countdown (by April)

Hello 9th month of pregnancy! And (hopefully soon) I will be wishing you Goodbye!

How you have changed me, 9th month....

-Carpal tunnel syndrome for pregnant women? who knew? But now, I'm reminded of it every time I wake up - sore/numb wrists and fingers. weird.

-I've learned that I have a sciatic nerve and I don't want to annoy it.

-While cooking in the kitchen (on the rare days this still happens), is it worth it to bend over (or squat down) and pick up the bits of food I drop? The answer is a definite "no, not worth it."
-Hello stretch marks! In regard to stretch marks, I've been surprised to realize that they don't bother me. Maybe this will change 3 months from now when I'm not experiencing constant back pain and I remember to care about superficial things...
-And finally, the comment that will embarrass my husband - I was horrified when I first heard about bowel movements during labor. Now I think "I hope I get it all out, so I don't have to go again for at least a few days!"

-I had a few more comments, but they were edited out by Rob. He tried to edit the last comment out as well, but I overruled him.

One thing has not changed - I still question if there's REALLY a baby inside me. I mean, I haven't seen this so-called baby. And - it's mind-blowing to me that my body could make a little human life! Something is moving in there, but could it just be the tacos I ate last night?

For your enjoyment, here are some comments made by my doctor at my visit 2 weeks ago:

"Wow - based on your size, you could be carrying twins."

"You must be in a lot of pain. Your body frame wasn't made to carry that much baby."

"You should expect the pain to keep getting worse."

"I hope the baby comes early, for your sake." (side note: he didn't come early)

"Well, at least you have big hips." (I have never been so thankful for my big hips)