The lunch that nightmares are made of...

Okay, not really, but it was pretty bad.

We were taking the kids out on campus to make some new friends. We stopped at a nice little Asian food restaurant. The employees welcomed us in and even helped me lift the stroller through the door. I was impressed. Honestly, most people just stop to stare at the white woman struggling with her stroller. Well, they stare until I ask them for help and then (with shock on their faces at being asked) they help me.

Anyhow the lunch started well...

(1) Then Cosi grabbed the bowl of toothpicks and very purposefully dropped them all over the table. No big deal. The waitress helped us put them back in the bowl, even after Cosi licked a few. No one who uses them will ever need to know.
(2) Cosi spilled her lukewarm tea all over the table. In the process of cleaning the tea up with napkins, Cosi hurled the wet napkins over onto the table of the people behind us. I pretended that I didn't notice.
(3) Not to be outdone, Trey started crying and wanted to be fed. After eating, he promptly spit up all over the floor of the restaurant leaving me feeling like I wasted my time and my preciously made milk.
(4) Cosi didn't want to eat and threw a temper tantrum. She tried to throw a lot more, but was thwarted in her efforts. Then, she decided to lay down on the seat and allow me to place green beans in her mouth (via chopsticks). I didn't argue. We'll work on table manners next year.
(5)Cosi started to tell us that she needed to "go pee pee in the grass." We questioned her truthfulness. It's socially acceptable for kids to go potty just about anywhere, so we've been letting our potty-training daughter leave her mark all over the city. She loves it, but it has turned her into a big liar. Picture us holding a pantless & smiling Cosi over a bush, but not even a drop of the promised pee pee emerging. Maybe she just loves a good breeze on her bare bottom. Actually, that sounds kind of nice... Anyhow after she persistently asked about five times, we paid the check and I picked her up to take her outside. As we were looking for a nice bush to shield her treasures from onlookers, I realized that my hip was warm & wet. It turns out that Cosi had already peed on the chair in the restaurant. Her dark jeans hid the wetness. My brown shirt did not. As for the upholstery on the furniture at the restaurant...well, I don't know.

The restaurant has found us out. I'm sure the two little foreign dolls (yang wawa) will not be welcomed back. Too much crying, puking, and urinating, along with the occasional wet napkin missiles = Stay home and eat!!