Cry Me a River...

When I was younger, I hardly cried. Maybe I didn't have much to cry about? After I got married, my crying habits changed. I started crying like a baby. Without exception, I cry multiple times a week. This past week, I cried every day and multiple times a day. I cried so much that Rob started ignoring me.

Something about seeing my baby congested and struggling to breathe makes me want to cry. It kind of reminds me of my grandmother when she was dying of emphysema. Not cool.

In a moment of deep introspection, I realized that a lot of my crying comes from life being out of my control. I can't heal my baby. I can't speed up my adoption. I can't make my husband do things my way all the time, though I may try...

And once again, I am confronted with the reality that I don't trust God.

I choose to worry. I live in fear.

But, I have hope that I won't always be this way, and that I will learn to replace fear with faith and worry with trust.