= Seeing my daughter repeatedly experience rejection from other children.
Being a parent is hard. I love this little person so much and I want to make her happy ALL the time. I know this is unrealistic and even unhealthy, but seeing her smile brings me so much joy! I mean - Have you seen that smile? It's gigantic and often accompanied by clenched double fists of happiness :)
So, when I'm at a play place and I see my Cosi running after the giggling girls, trying to giggle with them and I watch them look at her oddly and ignore her, my heart aches. I understand their reaction to this hyper 3 year-old (who doesn't speak their language), but I still wish things were different...
When I see my Cosi scoot her bottom over next to a little girl, watch that girl scoot away, see my Cosi scoot over again, and then watch that girl give my daughter a nasty look, get up and walk away, I wonder what should I do... Little girl - Cosi hadn't even grabbed your pigtail! (yet)
I see the other kids play in the sand. The kids ask me to keep Cosi away from them. I hear them scream at her when she grabs their toys. What kid wouldn't scream? I correct her and make her give the toy back... we're still working on not grabbing... but, that's a hard one to break, especially for a little girl whose only method of getting anything during the past couple of years (i.e., her whole life so far) was grabbing...
I walk near a door and hear two little boys beg the adult "Don't let her in here, We don't want that baby in here!" I feel so glad that she doesn't fully understand English yet...
I assumed this would be incredibly difficult for any parent, but it's not as hard for Rob. He's an introvert. He wants Cosi to have friends, but (as a child and even now) Rob was always happy to do puzzles or read books by himself.
I think Cosi is more like me, an extrovert. I want to help her learn how to play with other children and I wonder how long it will take. I want kids to be nice to her. She's had so many people be mean to her in the past. Life is hard. Kids are mean. People are sinful.
So, what I'm saying is that I want to protect my child from all the difficulties in life - is that too much to ask?
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This is Tim:
ReplyDeleteWhen we had lunch with my high school friend this past Christmas, we got to spend time with their new adopted girl from Russia. She is about 3 or 4 and she was still learning how to eat since they never fed her anything but liquids! Her two older brothers (about age 9 and 7) made a big deal out of her eating and didn't want to look at her. I guess it comes with the territory. Julia didn't seem to mind though.
Oh april, my heart breaks for cosi and for you. it is so much harder to bring a 3 year old into your home than a baby, I would guess. I will be praying for her and for your adjustment. what a big job you have. love to you!
ReplyDeleteDear April-- I'm sorry..... I truly cannot imagine how difficult these things must be for a mama's heart to see. I pray that it will get better quickly for both of you, and that God would be generous in giving Cosi friends who love her well. Hugs to you!
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